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Why do men Crossdress??
I'm a straight Heterosexual married man with a stressful job who unwinds by occassionally Crossdressing - "Pervert, Gay, Want to be a woman, sissy" FAR FROM IT. This Blog i hope will spread the word and advice it's OK to be different and want some form of escapism. Hopefully i can lend advice to like minded folk and also disprove some misconceptions about crossdressing in this blog.
A Little About Me...
Some Buzz Words to Describe me as a person to get us started – Sporty – Determined – Sore Loser – Winner – Father – Husband – Straight – Leader – Thinker – Professional – Pride – Knowledgeable – Open Minded – Trustworthy - Academic – Honest - Dry Sense of Humour – Intelligent – Punctual – Hidden Sensitivity – Kind – Caring – Respectful – Understanding – Determined – Strong – Fast – Political – Quick Witted - Supportive – Problem solver – Family – Team – Polite – Compassionate – Genuine - Alpha Male
……………………………………………………………………………………………….”Crossdresser”.
Monday 2 September 2013
Tuesday 28 May 2013
A Bit More detail to put you in the Picture
What I am…
Happily Married, Kids, Good job but stressful at times...I’ve Captained various sports teams (Rugby, Football, Cricket and Athletics)
I’m above average at everything, Academic and Intelligent with letters after my name which I don’t use as I think it looks naff… described as some reading my blog as Arrogant ok accepted that's male me.. There are other dimensions to me also in the buzz words added.. I can't help having a will and strive to be the best I can be..
I'm straight and very very loyal to my wife, family and friends.
I’m this Alpha
Male (99.9% of the time) …
I’m probably the
kind of man who no one would link to crossdressing…. Why?
Happily Married, Kids, Good job but stressful at times...I’ve Captained various sports teams (Rugby, Football, Cricket and Athletics)
I’m above average at everything, Academic and Intelligent with letters after my name which I don’t use as I think it looks naff… described as some reading my blog as Arrogant ok accepted that's male me.. There are other dimensions to me also in the buzz words added.. I can't help having a will and strive to be the best I can be..
I'm straight and very very loyal to my wife, family and friends.
My Wife Knows I Crossdress
I told my wife two
years into our Marriage that I Crossdress with my "habit" returning after about 4 years of non crossdressing when dating her.
She's known that I
occasionally (Once or twice per month) “Dress up as a Woman” since 2003 and her outlook is its just something her husband (me) does to unwind when stressed.
She sometimes says to me you need to work from home and unwind.
She sometimes says to me you need to work from home and unwind.
She doesn’t
understand it and “Neither do I” but were working on it.
I feel a tremendous urge to give her assurance that this doesn't change me as a person it's just fun and some escapism harmless to our relationship and our secret.
I feel a tremendous urge to give her assurance that this doesn't change me as a person it's just fun and some escapism harmless to our relationship and our secret.
What I’m Not
A quick and easy
blog to dispel some incorrect assumptions generalised by the Media about
Crossdressing related to myself….
I might add to this from time to time as people ask me if I’m this or that….
-
I’m
neither Gay nor a Bisexual...
-
I don’t ever.. ever
want to live as a Woman full time
-
I don’t ever want
Gender Reassignment Surgery
-
I wasn’t mollycoddled
as a child or given dolls to play with – I had action men, Star Wars Toys,
Footballs and Rugby balls to play with
-
I’m not a Pervert in
any way what so ever
I might add to this from time to time as people ask me if I’m this or that….
The Trans Spectrum
For anyone who’s new
to this whole phenomenon of men dressing up as Women here’s a starting
point and something to get your head around…
This blogs about Crossdressing so I’ll type a little about the “Trans Spectrum” in the next few blogs to split it out and allow comment…
I believe from
reading articles and books on Crossdressing and also from chatting to other
Crossdressers and Wives and Girlfriends ‘on line’ that there is a “Trans
Spectrum” for want of a better description…. “Reasons and motives why people
Crossdress”, to “What Extent” and possibly even to Why”
Its no different
from any other type of society in life really where people who are essentially
the same, “differ” in some way or another.
This blogs about Crossdressing so I’ll type a little about the “Trans Spectrum” in the next few blogs to split it out and allow comment…
To make it easier to
envisage, the “Trans Spectrum” could be a sliding scale East
To West….
Sexuality
Before I carry on
with the explanation of what I believe is the “Trans Spectrum”, the one thing
Significant Others (Wives and Girlfriends) are worried about is their partners
“Sexuality”…
I don’t personally
believe, that the ‘Trans Spectrum’ is any different from the “Non-Trans Spectrum” in
terms of sexuality.
Eg In the
“General Public Spectrum” out of
100 people the vast majority will be “Straight”, a percentage “Bi-Sexual” and
some percentage “Gay”.
I would hope The same Percentages
apply to people on the “Trans Spectrum”.
…So just because
he/she likes to Crossdress it doesn’t mean you have to worry about his/her
Sexuality.
My wife asked me if I was Gay the answer was No.. A difficult question to ask and to be asked.. You need an honest answer so its worth asking.
I chat on TvChix and although sexuality doesn't apply to me and why I crossdress a lot it seems do wander from the straight and narrow :(
I chat on TvChix and although sexuality doesn't apply to me and why I crossdress a lot it seems do wander from the straight and narrow :(
The Trans Spectrum East à West
On the East Side the
man who tries on his wifes lingerie for the first time.
Some men stop here at the first time and feel some sort of guilt for having done it.
Some men stop here at the first time and feel some sort of guilt for having done it.
Some men may try it again and once in a while slip into Lingerie.
Moving further West
along the spectrum he may decide to try on some hosiery (Stockings / Tights)
and further still high heels.
Further along the
journey possibly wondering how a dress might feel and look on…
I suppose Most
Crossdressers had this journey upto this point and as with each step West on
the Trans Spectrum some stop here….
Along the Trans
Spectrum and throughout Crossdressing is the “URGE” to Crossdress… This comes
and goes .. for me with times of stress.
THE URGE is
explained from my point of view in a future blog.
Trans Spectrum Revelation “Makeup”
Makeup?
A further step and a
step which moves toward centre left of the spectrum.. we’re almost half way
This stage can be a
kind of “Revelation”.. I’ll elaborate from experience…
I got to this step
two years into marriage when my wife out of the blue asked me “Can I put makeup
on you?”
I rejected it at
first but a nagging
thought ‘Does she know I crossdress?
So I eventually said
“Ok” and let her put full makup on me and then I said
“I might as well try
on a dress look the part”
I left the room and
came back in wearing Lingerie, stockings, high heels and a little black dress …
She said “Wow you
look like a woman, your legs look amazing, you look good in that dress”….
I blurted
out “Its not the first time I’ve tried this dress on….. I’ve Crossdressed since
I was young”
Her face a picture...she hadn’t sussed I Crossdressed … she just wanted
to see if her husband would let her put makeup on him
The Revelation
moment I talked about at the start concerning Makeup – I looked quite passable
as a woman fully dressed and made up (foundation, blusher, mascara, eye shadow,
eye liner and lipstick”
For me just dressing
up moved onto also wearing makeup and trying to look convincing.
In this case my wife
inadvertently gave me a push onto the next step across the Trans Spectrum.
Trans Spectrum “Are there others out there?”
I’ve added this here
but this query may be anywhere along the Trans Spectrum.
Am I the only Tranny
in the Village?
So we Google it… We
read up on it, some of the web pages make us reflect on why we dress and we can
disassociate with.
I came across a
Website called “TVChix” which
I tentatively joined and began chatting to other Crossdressers and also to some
accepting Wives and Girlfriends… There are others out there
This suddenly
becomes a reference for working out and beginning to understand why you
Crossdress, and others Crossdress and the broad spectrum that is the Trans
Spectrum exists.
I chose to share
this site with my Wife as I didn’t want her stumbling across it or wonder what
I was doing typing away.
There’s even a Forum
to post a question and wait for relevant answers.
The Trans Spectrum “A Name?”
In the part of the
Trans Spectrum above the
joining of a website such as TVChix requires an “alias”..
I don’t think of
myself as someone else… I’m not a schizophrenic or anything its just a name OK!
I chose the name for
my profile on TVChix for anonymity and as a reference “Davina”
Trans Spectrum “A Wig”
It probably comes as
no surprise to anyone reading this that the revelation moment of makeup and
looking passable as a woman would lead onto the purchase of a wig…
It’s like an
automatic step to want to see how you could make yourself look that little bit
more convincing and an obvious one out of curiosity to see just how convincing
you could look.
The Middle of the Trans Spectrum (My Perception)
So here’s where I believe
the Mid point of the Trans Specturm sits…. It’s where I am at the moment.
From this point onwards I’m guessing the motivation and needs / urges so will roll it up into only three more blogs
I’ve gone past the
trying things on, the dress, the makeup revelation and the first wig…
Now if I can’t dress
up fully, with makeup and a wig and look as passable as possible, then I don’t dress up.
The fact of the
matter is my Crossdressing is now “Self-Limited” to when I get the opportunity
to dress fully or not at all.
The Mid point – The
Crossdresser who has to look the full package or doesn’t dress at all and
enjoys the R&E – Relaxation and Escapism from the Alpha male life style and
presented as a Woman.
From this point onwards I’m guessing the motivation and needs / urges so will roll it up into only three more blogs
Trans Spectrum “What Now?”
The next Step along
to the right of centre is “Going out Dressed as a Woman”
t ranges from:
-
Going out in the car
for a drive dressed up
-
Walking round the block
dressed up
-
Walking in some
deserted area dressed up
-
Getting More Daring
going Shopping dressed up
-
Crossdressing venues
dressed up (meeting others)
-
“Normal” venues dressed
up
The Trans Spectrum “Living as a Woman”... "Becoming a woman?"
These are the next
perceived steps
I know very little
about this so welcome comments but some Crossdressers decide to live as a woman and some go even further.
I have to end the trans spectrum here as I can't really comment, would upset someone at this stage.
I have to end the trans spectrum here as I can't really comment, would upset someone at this stage.
How I told My Wife I Crossdress
Telling her was so
hard, my heart was skipping a beat, I was sweating, my pulse racing,
butterflies doing the rounds in my stomach but having been made up by her I
felt I had to get it out in the open - Honesty is the best policy.
Instead believing Honesty is the best policy, I told her the truth…. I’ve Crossdressed to some extent ALL my life….
If she’d sussed that
I Crossdressed which was the driver of her asking to put makeup on me in the
first place I had to tell her the truth… Unlucky for me she hadn’t sussed that
I was a Crossdresser and she just wanted to have some fun with her Alpha Male
Husband seeing if she could get him to have makeup put on him for a laugh…..and
the sweat turned to a Cold Sweat…
A quiet evening
wanting to talk about it now it was out there but my Wife was in shock.
First she sees me
fully made up (by herself), the first time I’d ever worn makeup and not only
does she see me made up but in a dress, stockings and heels etc looking a
little convincing then I tell her I’ve Crossdressed before… entitled to be in
shock..
I often think back
to that moment when I admitted I’d dressed before and thought “What If”…..What
if I’d lied and didn’t tell her I’d dressed previously and that being dressed
here now in front of her with her saying “WOW you look like a Woman” What if
I’d said “I’ve never done this before … I kinda like it”
A white lie? …..
Deception!!
Make Crossdressing
something she invented and “Got me Into”… Her Idea… Not my fault I liked it as
She made me do it…..
Instead believing Honesty is the best policy, I told her the truth…. I’ve Crossdressed to some extent ALL my life….
Writing it ALL Down
I decided to
write my Wife a letter which I then sat down with her and answered her
questions as she read it.
It upset her reading about my dressing but it opened up communication about it and allowed me to give her some assurances about what I'm not. We even laughed about it in parts which was better than tears.
If you can't talk about it write it down but be there to answer any questions asked and answer Honestly.
It upset her reading about my dressing but it opened up communication about it and allowed me to give her some assurances about what I'm not. We even laughed about it in parts which was better than tears.
If you can't talk about it write it down but be there to answer any questions asked and answer Honestly.
The First Arrangement
The first arrangement we came to was if I had the urge to crossdress I had to do it without my wife knowing when home alone leaving no evidence.
A compromise but felt like doing it behind her back still after plucking up the courage to tell her I crossdressed..
“If you have to
do it … Please do it without me knowing… Please don’t leave any evidence that
you’ve done it"
The next Arrangement
I’d began
dressing up fully With makeup but wanted to see how I'd look with a wig.
I decided this was a bigger step so I told my wife I wanted to get a wig to see how convincing I'd look.
She surprised me a week later producing a gift bag containing a long straight blonde wig and some lingerie, makeup and wipes and some clothing of hers she was giving up to charity.
She still didn’t want to see me dressed or have any evidence left but It was a step of further acceptance. :)
I decided this was a bigger step so I told my wife I wanted to get a wig to see how convincing I'd look.
She surprised me a week later producing a gift bag containing a long straight blonde wig and some lingerie, makeup and wipes and some clothing of hers she was giving up to charity.
She still didn’t want to see me dressed or have any evidence left but It was a step of further acceptance. :)
Why do i Crossdress??
Who knows? There
are probably many reasons why I’m centre of my perceived Trans Spectrum.
Doing something out of the norm for male me- that’s why??
A quick list
-
Stress relief, from work and my male life
-
Relaxation, its relaxing I don't know why
-
Escapism from my male life for a brief period of time
-
Its fun, getting transformed
-
It’s a turn on, I feel sexy transformed where I don't feel sexy as a man
-
The feel of wearing
lingerie and Womens things, its nicer than men's things
-
Makes up for my wife
not wearing sexy lingerie to an extent I suppose I substitute
-
Trying to look
convincing, its fun to try to look real
Doing something out of the norm for male me- that’s why??
Whats the URGE??
There’s a definite URGE
to wanting to Crossdress.. it becomes a hobby even or a habit
which some Crossdressers try to stop… go cold turkey… give up …. But the URGE
returns and you can’t help yourself but dress up the next opportunity you get.
Its hard to explain but
an example might be Chocolate.. Sometimes you get an URGE to have a bar of
Chocolate… You eat it and the URGE disappears (unless you’re greedy) and then
you don’t fancy Chocolate for a few weeks.
Crossdressing is the same for many get the URGE to dress up and once done it and returned to male attire the need to Crossdress dissipates until the URGE returns for some R&E.
BOOK – “My Husband Wears My Clothes”
For those worrying about
the fact you Crossdress or worrying about your other half or if you are a wife
or girlfriend of someone who Crossdresses and you are struggling to get your
head round it I recommend a book "My Husband Wears My Clothes"
http://www.amazon.com/Husband-Wears-Clothes-Crossdressing-Perspective/dp/096267625X
It's a book written by
the wife of a Crossdresser.. I read it cover to cover in a few hours
and it covered a lot of my questions of myself and questions my wife has about
Crossdressing.
http://www.amazon.com/Husband-Wears-Clothes-Crossdressing-Perspective/dp/096267625X
Wifes Brave Walk Upstairs – The Next level of acceptance
I sometimes work from home and dress up. It's my only real opportunity.
It wasn't as shocking for her as she expected and she even told me my wig was naff and I needed a better one :) that evening she helped me pick out a new one :)
I suppose if you're a partner this is a make or break point as you might be horrified in seeing your man as a woman or you may discover like my wife did that its not as bad as she'd thought.
See Karen Adlers book something to confess as what took us years to do in coming face to face Karen decided to do within days of finding out her husband crossdressed.
I was
dressed at home using our bedroom as an office.
I’d told my wife that I was dressed as she was coming home for lunch so I
told her I’d stay out of her way upstairs.
To cut a long
story short she brought me a cup of tea..
Face to face with my
wife for the first time crossdressed
we’d
both faced some fears… me meeting her dressed up made up wig n all for the first time and her
seeing her husband Crossdressed in the flesh..
It wasn't as shocking for her as she expected and she even told me my wig was naff and I needed a better one :) that evening she helped me pick out a new one :)
I suppose if you're a partner this is a make or break point as you might be horrified in seeing your man as a woman or you may discover like my wife did that its not as bad as she'd thought.
See Karen Adlers book something to confess as what took us years to do in coming face to face Karen decided to do within days of finding out her husband crossdressed.
The Girls Night In
In may 2012 we had a girls night in.
wine chickflicks and lipstick.
it was a nice evening it didn't seem too weird and i stopped shaking after the 2nd glass of wine.
we talked a lot and missed most of the film mainly about how I did my makeup and she asked me to give her a makeover which was fab.
what i got out of it was a nice night with my wife dressed up what she got was realisation its still me in fancy dress.
We went to bed as husband and wife.
It set our current acceptance level where seeing me dressed isn't an issue for my wife and I think I can stop the reassurance i feel i owe her and some of the guilt I feel for crossdressing ...
wine chickflicks and lipstick.
it was a nice evening it didn't seem too weird and i stopped shaking after the 2nd glass of wine.
we talked a lot and missed most of the film mainly about how I did my makeup and she asked me to give her a makeover which was fab.
what i got out of it was a nice night with my wife dressed up what she got was realisation its still me in fancy dress.
We went to bed as husband and wife.
It set our current acceptance level where seeing me dressed isn't an issue for my wife and I think I can stop the reassurance i feel i owe her and some of the guilt I feel for crossdressing ...
BOOK – Something to Confess by Karen Adler
Another book worth
reading, written by a Fab and accepting open minded woman.
Karen went through a
whirlwind of emotion and tackled her Crossdressing husband head on.
Check it out on Amazon – well worth a read :)
What is a Crossdresser??
A person who likes
to wear the clothes of the opposite sex (Basically).
There’s not really any way to establish if this is correct as there are many levels of acceptance in the Crossdresser himself and a lot tend to remain to coin a frame "In the closet" hidden away and secret as they don’t want to be stereotyped by societies rules on gender
Many people will
think.... 'Crossdressing for sexual pleasure',
some cross-dressers just
feel comfortable – rather than aroused when they put on clothing deemed by
society as belonging to opposite sex.
Crossdressing can range from trying on items of clothes to
getting fully made up in make up and a wig and fully dressed up in underware
and a dress hosiery and high heels.
Some people who
Crossdress do not like the term ‘Transvestite’ or “Tranny”, preferring to
describe themselves as ‘Cross-dressers’ and recently “T-Girls”.
The Internet claims that
the incidence of Crossdressing in men is now about 1 in 100 on some research
sites.
There’s not really any way to establish if this is correct as there are many levels of acceptance in the Crossdresser himself and a lot tend to remain to coin a frame "In the closet" hidden away and secret as they don’t want to be stereotyped by societies rules on gender
Who is most likely to cross-dress?
Some women dress up as
men (This can be done fairly openly), but it's overwhelmingly men who like to
dress as women.
People from all walks in society Crossdress, however, I’ve found a lot of people to be intelligent with a good sense of humour.
I don't think I can bracket a stereotype person who is more likely to be a crossdresser as the spectrum is too far and wide.
People from all walks in society Crossdress, however, I’ve found a lot of people to be intelligent with a good sense of humour.
I don't think I can bracket a stereotype person who is more likely to be a crossdresser as the spectrum is too far and wide.
So reading all this….Why do men cross-dress?
No one really knows.
What we do know is there are lots of men Crossdressing in the UK and across the globe… no one can put a firm answer to why……
No matter what you read
on the internet, reasons are vast.
A dress is a garment
worn by Women as Society deems that a dress belongs to a woman not a man and
lipstick is a Womans not a man and jeans belong to men
not women?
Reading on the Net
Psychologists have apparently decided Crossdressing comes within the normal
range of male behaviour.
Some make a living as a
“Drag Queen” on stage.
Others like Lilly Savage
and Eddie Izzard help to bring
Crossdressing into the mainstream.....
Everyone likes Eddie
Izzard ….if only more celebs would come out of the closet I think
we'd be surprised but wouldn't it help society realise Crossdressings not some
weird fetish or perverted behaviour?
What we do know is there are lots of men Crossdressing in the UK and across the globe… no one can put a firm answer to why……
Telling other people
Should a Crossdresser
reveal to his friends, family that he is a
crossdresser?
Write down what you want to say..have some backup info at hand… try to second guess what they might ask or want to know… maybe test the water first
A lot of thought and
stress can be generated deciding on what’s best to do and it must be handled and approached carefully as sad to say its ended some relationships.
Many feel frustrated that they have to keep this part of their
life a secret....
Telling someone is so difficult.
At first I could not bring myself
to tell my wife that I was a crossdresser for fear of upsetting or even loosing
her from what I'd read on the subject
If you decide to tell someone:
If you decide to tell someone:
Write down what you want to say..have some backup info at hand… try to second guess what they might ask or want to know… maybe test the water first
Results of Telling someone
Some are
relieved that their fears were misplaced and their Wives of Girlfriends enter
into the spirit of the whole thing and actually help
But beware…. Test the
waters with a program on TV …. or an article in a magazine or newspaper to find
out others thoughts on Crossdressing before your wade in and tell people you're a crossdresser.
Most women are brought
up in a way that conditions them to be traditional "Men don’t wear
dresses, Women do" some think this to such an extent that relationships have ended due to crossdressing.
Emotional needs of men?
We’re conditioned not
to show emotions… perhaps we Crossdress for the emotional release as much as
stress relief…. Let our barriers down in private and in a dress?
Brought up to be boys who don't cry told to be strong and brave.. We hide emotions through not wanting to let our fathers down and to become the hunter gatherer protector like our fathers.
But we do feel emotion we can show female traits of emotion and caring but conditioning program's us to hide it and show a hard face to it..
Brought up to be boys who don't cry told to be strong and brave.. We hide emotions through not wanting to let our fathers down and to become the hunter gatherer protector like our fathers.
But we do feel emotion we can show female traits of emotion and caring but conditioning program's us to hide it and show a hard face to it..
SEX
What many wives will think of course is that for many men crossdressing is
an intensely sexual activity.
For many it is a turn on although some men grow out of it and merely enjoy crossdressing.
There isnt really correlation between crossdressing and Sex as men think
about sex every 6 secconds anyway so nothing unusual.
Sexual Frustration?
Some men turn to crossdressing as part of a
release from “Sexual Frustration”
Most relationships get to this stage at some point and you question yourself and it really plays tricks with your mind if your other half suddenly “goes off sex”
Most relationships get to this stage at some point and you question yourself and it really plays tricks with your mind if your other half suddenly “goes off sex”
-
Is there something wrong with me?
-
Doesn’t she fancy me any more?
-
Is she getting it elsewhere?
-
Is it the crossdressing?
Women seem to have less of a sex drive than men and can loose their sex
drive altogether mainly through contentment I can only surmise?
Some may crossdress as a sexual frustration release.
Women prefer comfort to sexy clothing?
It's true isn't it women opt more for comfort than a sexy look.
Hard for us men to accept and get our heads round.. To a man why wouldn't a woman want to look sexy all the time? Even more so for a crossdresser who loves trying to look like a sexy woman.
Most men have a thing for stockings and sexy lingerie and wish their wives would surprise them wearing something sexy..
Hard for us men to accept and get our heads round.. To a man why wouldn't a woman want to look sexy all the time? Even more so for a crossdresser who loves trying to look like a sexy woman.
Most men have a thing for stockings and sexy lingerie and wish their wives would surprise them wearing something sexy..
Maybe crossdressing makes up for this?
Discretion for your wife or Girlfriends sake
Even though my wife knows I dress im still discrete about dressing and
don’t rub it in her face
Given an inch we’ll want to take a mile, but pull in the reigns on yourself
and take things slow…
Its still a hard thing for a wife or girlfriend to accept especially as acceptance boundaries are pushed
Definition and Lables
Search the
internet…. You’ll find definitions of Crossdressing, Transvestism Transexualism
etc but they still don’t explain “Why men Crossdress” and don’t cover all men
who Crossdress to different degrees.
Transvestite - A person who Crossdresses. Ie Anyone who wears
clothing that is usually associated with the opposite sex could be called a
transvestite.
The word comes from
Latin “Trans” = across, and “Vesta” = clothing so it really means
Crossdressing.
Also, do women consider
themselves a Transvestite when wearing what is deemed as masculine clothing?
The answer is No
The word Transvestite
seems to stir a negative connotation in peoples minds when someone is described
as a Transvestite or a “Tranny”.
Crossdressing describes
the actions more clearly to the Latin and according to society views on one
form of clothing and look belonging to a man and another to a woman.
I think T-Girl, a more
modern word covers others who not only “Crossdress” but put on
makeup and a Wig and try to look convincing as a woman?
A Femmophile
A synonym I’ve recently
come across in reading is “Femmophile”
It describes a
form of behavior and personality expression characterized by a desire to wear
the clothing of the opposite gender and to attempt to look like someone of the
opposite gender for the “love and attraction” of that gender.
The love of the
Feminine or a love of Women and can be applied to persons whose interest is
solely in the feminine gender role.
Crossdressing Marriage
Being open, honest and
understanding a husband and wife or boyfriend and girlfriend who both come to
terms with Crossdressing will add dimensions to their relationship that are
unique providing an additional close bond of a deep secret shared.
There is something else
that can be shared…….the wardrobe, makeup, lingerie, hosiery and if you’re
lucky shoes and even “girl talk”. (things you wouldn’t usually talk to
eachother about as husband and wife)
Worth reinstating that
communication is the key and you also have to understand your Wifes feelings
and help her in coming to terms with you as a Crossdresser.
You also have to
understand any undermining and underpinning insecurities she may have about
herself as woman which Crossdressing isn't helping.
BOOK:- A Love Less Ordinary
Check out a book
written by “Laura Newman” who is a girlfriend / significant other of a T-Girl
Nicci..
It’s a true story of
partnership with someone who is transgender, and realising what a healthy
relationship can and should be.
If transgender people
can find the strength to be open with the world about who they are, considering
all the challenges this presents, can’t we all find the courage to be honest
with the world about who we really are?
The heart and essence of
this book is about more than being the partner of someone who is transgender.
It’s about learning to
be true to yourself.
To love yourself and
live the life that you want.
Heres the link on amazon
Guilt
Most Crossdressers like
myself have “Guilt” if that’s the right word from a young age and have never been
able to free themselves from their Crossdressing Urges, desires or thoughts.
Society makes us feel guilty but there’s no harm in it…
Some Crossdressers I chat to have thought about a form of Professional counselling…. I don’t feel I need counselling but would if my wife thought it was a good idea.
Even if wives acceptance ranges from a total embrace of Crossdressing or to a limited occasional activity… guilt for “putting them through our Crossdressing remains”
Some Crossdressers I chat to have thought about a form of Professional counselling…. I don’t feel I need counselling but would if my wife thought it was a good idea.
Even if wives acceptance ranges from a total embrace of Crossdressing or to a limited occasional activity… guilt for “putting them through our Crossdressing remains”
Fetish
Some use Crossdressing
as a tool to express fetish behaviour or the Crossdressing is their fetish.
Most fetish behaviour
focuses on a specific aspect of clothing such as high heeled shoes, lingerie or
stockings and suspenders ranging into BDSM which I have no experience with so won't go into it.. Feel free to comment
Depression
It comes hand in hand
with Stress.
At times I’ve probably
suffered with depression mainly due to work and sexual frustration and money
worries. I won't admit to it to myself let alone others as it seems like a weakness which people would tell me is stupid.
Not a reason to
Crossdress, it can be a catalyst.
Crossdressing can
release endorphins that are shown to help battle depression and this is one of
the reasons I Crossdress as I feel better during and after doing it.
These endorphins can
become addictive, I believe Crossdressing can be an effective tool for
self-medication.
It’s Fun
If you're lucky as a couple you can find the fun in crossdressing.
Crossdressers who dress for fun in this way still relate strongly to their male role but just wish to express an aspect of feminine, or mimic women for a short time
Advantages of having a Crossdressing Husband
1. He envies you
because you can wear whatever you want and sometimes he would rather be wearing
what you're wearing!
2. He doesn't mind
waiting while you take your time shopping.....
3. He will not only shop
with you but pay the bill as well! “ Just remember a few little items for
him/her when you're
shopping!!!!
4. You have even more
excuses to go shopping, and he will even carry the bags....
5. You can double your
wardrobe if he's the same size as you!...
6. He has an eye for
fashion like Gok Wan and knows how to advise you and help you
accessorize, so you can
ask him how an outfit looks, and get an intelligent response..
7. If he says "You
look nice." you know he really means it....
8. If he says that dress
is a bit clingy you know he's being nice and stopping you making a
fashion fauxpar....
9. He loves to go
shopping with you and watch you try on clothes “ wishing he could try them
on....
10. While shopping, you
can test a new shade of nail polish and he'll find you a matching lipstick.
11. When shopping for perfume
he will give you an honest opinion.
12. He is easy to buy
gifts for “ just don't advise your mother to buy him a dress when she asks
what she can get him for
his birthday....
13. He understands that
the best thing a girl can have when she feels down is new clothes and
shoes and a relaxing
evening watching a chick flick with a glass or 3 of wine....
14. If he buy's you
clothes, you know he sizes them right.....
15. If you need an
accessory for that new dress you bought and he happens to have the perfect
one, you can borrow it.
16. He can spot makeup
smudges better than any other guy.....
17. He can give you a
professional makeover for free and he'll enjoy doing it
18. You can test a new
shades of makeup on him and see if he comes out in a rash...J
19. He understands the
need for quality cosmetics.....as cheap stuff give you a rash see 18 above
20. You can borrow his
jewelry, clothes & makeup....as long as he can borrow yours
21. You never have to
worry about cheating on you with another woman. He IS the other
woman!!..
22. He'll rarely have
that scratchy five o'clock shadow or wiry hairy chest....
23. If he wears a skirt
it's easy access ...
24. He'll never ask you
to have a threesome with another woman as long as he can wear the
lingerie in bed.....
25. He won't tear your
lingerie when removing it from you, .....or from himself.
26. A man in a dress
makes a good cook ..apparently
27. The toilet seat will
always be down....its just polite isnt it
28. He knows just the
right way to make love, takes his time and knows just what makes you tick!
29. You have a
girlfriend who'll never get PMS or talk about you behind your back...
30. Satin, silk, lace
and velvet feel nicer on him than denim and wool when cuddling
31. He understands why
you go through so many pairs of stockings and tights....
32. He no longer expects
you to get ready for a night on the town in 15 minutes or less....
33. His online t-girl
friends don't spend all day watching football. Talking about football or Rugby
or cricket and are interesting
to chat to
34. He knows to walk
slow when you're wearing heels.....
35. He knows how to
treat a lady with care, sensitivity and respect...
36. He's a "girl
friend" that will stick around and won't flake out on you or stab you in
the back.
37. He loves to dress up
and spend time with you having long chat sessions and a glass of wine
whilst watching chick
flicks.....
38. Dress him up in a
French Maid's Uniform and you have a house cleaner .....any time you like.
J
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